What movies have not aged well?

-All the bad guys are black.

You Only Live Twice

On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

I'm pretty sure that my dog is transgender, how would I go about transitioning it?

Diamonds Are Forever

-Bond tricks the virginal Miss Solitaire into having sex with him.

-Choo Me? Hai Fat?

When did you realize that your childhood was not normal?

A View to a Kill

-Bond getting rough with Miss Anders, and slapping her. Christ!

-Bond disguised as a Japanese fisher looks exactly like - Sean Connery wearing a bad wig.

Isn't it unfortunate for the Democrats that we Republicans are the masters of the universe who control everything while the Democrats control nothing?

-Bond forcing himself on Pussy.

-Bond slaps Tania pretty hard, and gets rough with her when he tries to get her to confess what her orders were.

-Two words. Mickey Rooney.

What are some ballbusting stories?

Live and Let Die

-What was with the over-acting of the French guy Mayday kills in the Eiffel Tower? Been watching too much Allo Allo?

-”Quarrel. Fetch my shoes!”

What are the most common signs that a partner will cheat before it happens?

-J W Pepper

-Tracy’s father having uh…interesting ideas about what a happy marriage should be. Hell, he punches her out at one point.

-Bond getting slaphappy again, this time with Tiffany Case.

Who is the greatest light welterweight boxer of all time?

-”Ah so!”

-”She is very sexyful!”

Dr No

How come Taiwan is LGBT friendly, yet Japan and South Korea are not?

-Comedy gay hitmen Mr Wint and Mr Kidd

From Russia With Love

Goldfinger

Why do so many guys love anime girls?

Octopussy

Breakfast at Tiffany’s

Moonraker

What is your review of X-Men '97 season 1?

-The comedy French taxi driver, also over-acting. Someone doesn’t like the French…

-Bond slapping Tracy.

-Note how the next couple of ones were ….well…as grounded in reality as you can be with Bond.

I am married for 3 years. My husband keeps pressing my boobs 40-50 times a day. He never stops though I ask him not to. What I should do to stop it?

-In the second half of Daylights, Bond gets aid from Afghan guerrillas. Rambo III is set against the same backdrop of the Soviets’ campaign in Afghanistan, getting help from the brave, starry-eyed, bold, freedom-loving peasant patriots against the cruel rapey Russians, and it even ends with a dedication to the mudjaheddin.

-Bond’s idea of placating Goodnight after being forced to hide in the cupboard all night while he’s making out with Miss Anders is to tell her that her time will come soon…

The Living Daylights & Rambo III

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The Man with the Golden Gun

-”That should keep you in curry…” said to an Indian agent.

-”Why do Chinese girls taste different to all other girls?”

Where can I sell naked pics of myself online?